A Map of Stars
by Experimental
Summary: Saionji. Touga. Akio and his camera. And his fast, red car. This one goes out to all you BFFs.


Disclaimer: I harbor no illusions about being good at poetry. I suck, and I've probably vastly exceeded my allowance of obscure references to content ratio, but oddly my shame does not sufficiently supercede my pride to stop me from posting. May the Muses—and the masses—have mercy on me and my pretentious, cringe-worthy tripe.

Oh yeah. And I own no share of _Utena_.

* * *

A Map of Stars

When Lucifer takes you  
He takes you completely: mind, body, and soul  
Through the lens of a camera  
A flashbulb pulsating  
Off the cold, indifferent heavens  
Spinning on their axis  
And tracing constellations  
Across the dome of the tower

Across the hood of a fast car  
A candy-apple red phallus on wheels  
The boy who brought you here  
Who cajoled, seduced you here  
Writhes  
Undoes himself  
Touches himself, tangled in his own hair  
Like blood, electric  
Arcing with every pop and sizzle of the bulb  
Winking itself out of existence

It pounds beneath him  
Into him  
The beat of destiny  
Or the End of the World  
Up his inseam  
In every seam in the road  
In every throaty rip, the gunning of the engine  
Accelerating, like dark matter  
Rippling outward  
Toward the edge of the universe  
And the twilight of the gods:  
Ragnarok

Eschaton  
The world's shell shattered and the unconquered son  
The prodigal sun  
Emerged from his lotus bud  
Arrives savior to the restless  
The Midgard Narcissus of the awakening soul  
His hand around his own phallus  
And his tongue a flame  
His hand upon his staff of power

And the seat of consciousness—  
In the bouncing of a bicycle seat  
Or the cantilevered motion of the peddler  
Vibrating through your shoulder blades  
Vibrating through your pelvis  
Vibrating up  
Through everything you are  
It is the Judas kiss upon your lips  
It is the pistoning that moves the world

Rotating  
On a crinoid-shell axis  
Revolving  
Round a map of stars  
Revoluting  
Down a lamp-lined street round a fountain of eternity  
Procreative sterility  
Pure and profane  
And an endless dream in three looped acts  
An endless play of memories lost  
Stolen  
Rewritten histories  
And mutual masturbation

When Lucifer takes you he does so indirect  
Through the touches of your worst enemy  
Your only friend  
The one who laughs at you for believing there is such a thing as  
Real, honest-to-goodness friendship  
Let alone love  
Even as it impales you  
As he whispers in your ear  
Promises of a world to come  
Where dreams will come  
True  
To just you two

But the Morning Star already took him  
Replaced his soul with a promise  
Of liberation  
From a reality of faithless illusion  
You bare your flesh and he bares your heart  
Lays straight all that is in it while  
Silver spokes flash and turn  
He traces your meridian  
Catching fingers  
In the fly of your trousers

The window to your soul  
Letting in butterflies with every breath  
Perfumed with poisoned flowers that  
Never wilt  
So he might fellate you with his words  
Fuck you with his reason  
And leave the taste  
Of the End of the World

Sweet  
In the back of your mouth  
Not enough to intoxicate you  
Too much to leave you immune  
And the motor rumbles beneath your spine  
Ripples down your nerves  
Numbing you  
With every violating stop and start  
What kind of friend, you ask, would do that?

—is what he will say  
To justify why  
He should treat you this way  
As though to prove your unfailing loyalty  
When he's already betrayed you  
Made a fool of you  
A thousand times for the devil  
Behind the camera  
Behind the map of stars  
Who pulls the strings  
That unfold you like a cereus blossom  
Petal at a time

Unfolding to night  
From the dried, cracked brown ribs  
Of some grotesque cactus plant  
On the hood of his car  
On a school night  
On that warm, glossy scarlet  
Stained only by a Milky Way  
Of adolescent glory  
And with the promise of a climax

Holy of holies  
Orgasm of orgasms  
End of all ends  
Where writ in the spilled constellations is  
Someone else's name  
While that devil promised the universe  
Would shudder for you  
And the shutters  
Quivering  
Captured you for himself

—o—

_Valentine's Day, 2007._


End file.
